Grateful

I have been staying up late at night reading the blogs of women going thru the adoption process, women losing unborn babies to congenital illness, women struggling thru SIDS loses and I can't help but cry for them and then tip toe into my own nursery of sleeping angels and just stare at them...I can't imagine not having them or even worse, having them and losing them.

Reading these women's fights, struggles, strength, faith and resolve has me feeling ever so grateful for what God has blessed me with- two healthy, stunning little girls that are growing by leaps and bounds and excelling at life.

I have been tossing and turning at night, wondering how these women are doing. Wondering how they find the strength to put one foot in front of the other. I have been wondering how they do it...It makes me think of how blessed we have been.

I am not sure how many of our friends and family members know this but Jason and I were not given good chances of conceiving on our own. We had been trying for a couple months and I had been off of birth control for some time. I was not getting back onto a "cycle" after the birth control so we went to be checked out. I had blood tests, medications to restart my "system", ultrasounds...the works. Lo and behold- I was fine. They threw in some tests for Jason just "for good measure" as our doctor put it. I am sure that she was just trying to ease our minds so she wouldn't have to see us again for a year or so but...Jason had some problems. I have not talked with him yet about how much to share but we were not given good odds and were told to get a specialist. We were also told to "keep trying naturally in the mean time" ...so, we kept at it and read every book we could. I started charting my cycles-- it really became a mission for us at that point.

In March of 2007, Jason lost his grandmother- Oma. We took an emergency flight to NC with his family and spent 10 days on the east coast taking care of arrangements, packing up her home (40+ years of memories and items), driving her ashes to Georgia for a burial service...it was a long 10 days. 10 days that just *happen* to fall into our prime time of the month to make a baby. We decided that March was going to be the month that we just let whatever happen, happen. I did not take my basal body thermometer to NC. We didn't do ovulation predictor kits. We didn't do any "special" things...whatever happened, happened.

We came home from NC and had an appointment with our specialist. We were told that Jason needed surgery but again, to keep trying on our own. Little did we know. About 10 days later, we got a BIG FAT POSITIVE on a home pregnancy test!!!

I remember looking at my half hearted attempt at my chart for the month and thinking "how on earth did this happen THIS month of all months"? I remember just *knowing* that my period was about to start. I also remember eating Chipotle tacos two times a day for three weeks! HA HA!!!

I called my doctor immediately and got an appointment at 6 weeks pregnant. I had my first ultrasound on May 1st at 8 weeks pregnant. I remember the doctor saying "do twins run in your family?" and I remember almost blacking out! HA HA! We were talking on our way to the ultrasound and I said "lets just pray that there is only one baby and its healthy!" HA HA! Deep down, we must have known because we kept talking about there being two or three babies in there the whole drive to the appointment.

The point of our journey and this story is that I am ever grateful that we were blessed with two babies. But, reading what some women endure makes me think about how strong there are. It makes me grateful for every single second I have with the twins. It makes me so thankful that we got two babies at once when we were told we would be lucky to get one.

Everytime they cry, I think of the women that will never get to hear their babies cry...and I am grateful. I rarely get upset or stressed with them anymore because I think of what some women would give up to have a fussy baby (or two). I don't get upset when they want to be held all day anymore because I think of the women that don't get to hold their babies. I am grateful for the cries, for the tears, for the 'hold me all day mommy' moments...I am grateful.

"Teefs"

Wow! We have teef now! In English that is "teeth"...we have TEETH! Addisen had one and a half break thru overnight- her bottom two center teeth. WOW! They are really growing WAY too fast!

"How do you do it?"...I will be blunt!

So, what a day I had today! I went to Target to meet up with another local mom of twins- her twins are 1 month younger than my girls. They were so cute too- a boy and a girl...we browsed around while sipping some Starbucks, got lots of stares, lots of comments but...get this! We ran into 3 other moms of twins in the book aisle! 5 sets of twins in ONE aisle!!!!! WOW!!!

Afterwards, I stopped to see my good friend Michele. I seriously love this woman! She was my "boss" when I was her intern in college and she continues to keep in touch with me, help me out with career moves, etc..not to mention that she basically ROCKS and her and her family are awesome people! Anyway, she kept asking me how I do it...she said "no, really Jess...how do you do it?" and I just shrugged and gave my stand-by "I just do" response. Though, lately, I have been itching to tell people how I really do manage it...so, I will be blunt and here it goes. Watch out! :)

I can't even go into the pregnancy right now- I don't have that much time. So, we'll start from birth. Breastfeeding twins? You have two boobs, you have two babies! Plain and simple. Though, that approach does require some assistance, especially with preemies- one will latch, you get the other one on only to have the original baby come off...its a mess. When Jason went back to work and I was alone (gasp!) I would cry all day because I was just surviving from one feeding to the next. I always had some anxiety as feeding time approached and a sense of "well, at least they are fed" after each feeding. I remember crying to my friend one day and she said to me "stop pumping Jessica!"...That's right, I was pumping, nursing, tandem nursing (nursing both at once) as well as supplementing with bottles. My gosh! Talk about all the work and none of the benefits. I can't speak for all twin moms but this is what I ended up doing when Jason had to go back to work- I got up with them in the morning and they got a bottle of 100% formula. Then, I pumped once they were satisfied. Then, I made bottles for the day- it took about 8-10 bottles of 50% breast milk and 50% formula mixed together to get me thru the day. Those bottles were for ONE baby. I nursed the other one. So, next feeding at 11 or so, I would nurse baby A and baby B would get a bottle. At 2:00, I swapped. This went on until bedtime bottles...at bedtime they got 100% formula, I pumped and went to bed. Those two pumpings gave me enough to make 50/50 bottles all day and freeze some for the future. Plus, I got to nurse one and one and experience that.

Here are the girls- totally milk drunk after a tandem nursing session:


These were MY essentials for nursing twins
Medela hospital grade pump:


EZ 2 Nurse Twin Nursing Pillow


Now, bottle feedings- I put both of them in a large Boppy pillow side by side and sit on the floor in front of them and feed them. At least once a day they get one on one feedings with me and ALWAYS one on one snuggle feedings at bedtime.

Two sets of needs that need to be met? You have two hands and you have two kids. Period. You learn very quickly how to do the "double scoop" and I found that picking them both up at once worked much better as they got more head control. For awhile it was pure hell because I literally had to do everything twice- walk in, pick up Addisen, take her in the living room and get her settled. Go back and do it all over again with Parker. I could not feed them both at once for awhile either (and didn't really want to). I had deliberately spaced them out about 30 minutes between feedings so that I never had two sets of needs(i.e. two babies screaming at me) at once.

Now, I just scoop them both up in my arms and away we go. I can open doors with both of them in my arms, I can pick things up off the floor wiht both of them hanging from my arms...it just works. I think you get used to it.





Solid feedings- one bowl, one spoon, a bite to A, a bite to B...back and forth. Its just that simple. HA! Or so it sounds. When one won't eat, one wants to eat faster...it can get hairy when they are first learning but now we have it DOWN!

Two mobile babies? We are venturing in this territory and are buying a CAGE tonight actually. This is what we are getting and I personally, cannot wait!



Going out in public? Invest in a variety of double strollers, front carriers, etc. I never grocery shop alone unless its a small trip. I refuse to drag a cart behind me with a stroller in front of me...I get stopped enough by stupid people- that is the last thing I need- to draw more attention to myself! HA HA! My friend uses a Bjorn front carrier for one twin and puts the other one in the cart to shop...not a bad idea. With my luck, whoever was in the Bjorn would be screaming while the one in the cart would be falling out. Lovely.

We have spent over $400 on two strollers and are still searching for that perfect twin stroller...good luck! They don't make one. A tandem and a side by side are both equally important in different situations. I love my jogging stroller! Love it!





My final response to "how do you do it?" with going out in public is that I ignore people. I have a 2" bubble that I put on and I do not even pretend to hear what people say in passing, I walk fast and move along. Comments like "Oh twins!" and "Double trouble" are not clever...we have heard it before. Move on people!

If you have ANY questions about other logistics of doing things with twins...ask away! I love to share!

It's days like this...

That I absolutely LOVE having twins!!! The day started off bad- the girls slept in!! Ok, that sounds like it would be a good start but if you have multiples or parent on a "schedule" or routine, it throws a wrench in the whole day! They slept in an hour (ahhh!) but awoke starving. I fed them and frantically tried to play catch up all day long. Naps were hit or miss, feedings were off...it was just a rocky start. Then, Daddy came home to two little darlings that were covered in spinach (the new food this week) and chicken. Mmmm!





Then, we get on the floor and practice our new crawling skills only to find that Parker has learned to take off her diaper!



Addisen has PERFECTED her crawl to sit 'trick' this week (just in time for our Development Follow-Up Clinic appointment next week). Look how tiny she looks on the floor!





Then, I needed to go to icky WalMart to get some baby food containers and coffee creamer (both are staples in our house). We have never (I mean, NEVER) seperated the twins...they get one on one time when they wake early or stay up later than their sister but we have never split them up. Well, tonight, by the highly scientific process of "eenie meenie miny moe" Addisen was chosen to accompany me to WalMart and sit in the cart like a big girl while Parker got to stay home and practice her crawling and exploring with Daddy. I just have to say...one baby! HA!!! It was so strange to only have one with me. One to strap into the car, one to carry, one to watch, no one staring or asking me retarded questions...what a breeze it was! Still, it felt like I left home without my left arm though. Good thing I don't know any different than having twins!

At bedtime, the girls had bottles and went to bed...Jason and I sat on the couch and heard their "talking" and squeals...I grabbed my camera and headed in...this is what we found!

Parker ("Oh man! I am BUSTED!"):


Addisen ("Uh oh! Can I hide right here?"):


"Oh well! We're caught! Better act cute ASAP!"


"I have my smile on!"


I adore the fact that they are playing together and talking to each other now- even if it interferes with bedtime. Tonight they were sitting up in their beds facing each other and giggling! How precious is that?! I can not believe how FAST this goes! They will be 8 months this week!!! Can't I just hit "pause" and scoop them up forever?

Milestones galore!!!

Parker is crawling!!! Addisen is trying to crawl. They can both sit up from a crawling/laying position now too. Addisen is really good at this trick. Last night, I found her in her crib, sitting up with her silky blanket hanging from her mouth with her teddy bear under her arm...all grins! Needless to say, the mattresses have been lowered. Watch out world! The twinners are MOBILE!